Ask Miriam – October 2018
Dear Miriam,
My mother-in-law was recently diagnosed with dementia, but my husband (her son) doesn’t accept it. He keeps making excuses for her behavior and says it’s just old age, but I’m sure it’s not. I think he’s in denial. Miriam, my husband is an only child and his father cannot take care of her by himself. Is there anything I can do to get him to accept her diagnosis and help his father with her care?
Mark
Dear Mark,
It does sound like your husband is going through some denial. I can imagine he’s scared and worried for his mother, and perhaps even grieving the loss of their relationship. His denial is a coping strategy, and while I can imagine it’s frustrating for you, be patient with him. Ask him how he’s feeling. Invite him to attend a support group with you.
Many people think a dementia diagnosis is the end of a good life, but that’s not true. People living with a dementia can continue to experience a high quality of life. And, certainly, they can feel the love and support of their loved ones. Remind your husband that accepting her diagnosis can help the family provide better care for her so she can continue to live a happy life.